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From Tyler’s Desk: In Perpetuity: The Carbon Offset Fraud

Bill Gates is on a crusade to save the planet from climate change. He is arguing that the entire world will need to change, including cheeseburgers. Although he admits he himself is one of the single-highest emitters of greenhouse gases on the planet, he justifies his carbon footprint by spending over $7 million annually on carbon offset credits.

Some of you may relate to my fondness of breathing. I find it fairly necessary in my daily life. I don’t put much energy into breathing on most days. To be honest, it just kinda happens. Now, breathing is emblamatically exaggerative, but the Green New Dealers actually blame your existence, and every breath you take, on climate change. Okay, so back to carbon credits.

Imagine for a moment, a swear jar. This is a device to help discourage people from swearing. Every time someone utters a swear word, the offender must put some money into the jar. Apply that same logic to greenhouse gas emissions. Essentially, everything from driving in your car to breathing (yes, that natural biological process necessary for life) has some “carbon footprint”. Carbon offset credits are a proposed way for carbon emission repentance. Now, of course, the calculation of your carbon footprint is perpetual, meaning you cannot exist without some carbon emission, even after your death.

Let’s break this down. The socks on your feet, as an example, have a carbon footprint to get to your feet. Remember, it took the breath of a farmer, spewing out carbon, to grow the cotton to make those socks. He burned fuel in his tractor to plant the seeds. He pumped water to the fields to nourish the plants, powered by an electrical connection fed by a natural gas power plant. The pump was made of metal smelted in a tundish at a steel mill powered by a coal generator. All that and more, and we only have the cotton. Now it must be harvested, transported, cleaned, processed, spun into string, woven into socks, packaged, shipped, warehoused, and retailed. All by people, breathing, using tools and machinery, emitting carbon, and a number of other processes just to get those socks on your feet.

You or the sock company have run up quite a substantial carbon footprint, and all you needed was warm feet. Here is the kicker: the “experts” will tell you this accounts for roughly half of the footprint associated with those socks. Now you have to buy offset credits just to wear them. Why? They need to be laundered which requires heating and usage of water, detergents, drying, etc. More and more carbon to be emitted, just because you need socks for your feet.

Steps to Perpetuate Fraud & Make People/Businesses Feel Better About Themselves:

Step 1: Exaggerate a naturally occuring phenomenon: Climate Change

Step 2: Identify a cause to place blame: humans of course

Step 3: Report your findings: Scare everyone into believing your theories.

Step 4: Identify an impossible solution: Green New Deal: a society with net zero carbon emissions. Remember: no more breathing, no more shelter, no more eating.

Step 5: Create a product to sell the solution to humans: Carbon Offset Credits

Step 6: Promote product via human influencers like billionaires. Be sure said billionaires are invested in the solutions themselves. They will earn tremendous fortunes.

Step 7: Lobby government to mandate carbon offset credits of all businesses and individuals. Be sure to mandate there is no exclusion for government entities.

Step 8: Reap the rewards & profits.

So, what is a carbon offset credit? It is an expensive device sold to industry and individuals for the purpose of helping them feel better about their carbon footprints and/or to boost marketing campaigns that they are green-friendly and saving the planet. In reality, it has the equivalent value of a magic bean or a pound of fairy dust.


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